:: Tying the knot ::

It's going to be the day I gonna swtich my status from Miss to Mrs. The day I'll be Mrs.Chia. OMG =)
Never had imagine all to be happening, at least not that soon. Still remembered how bad things turned out to be in Sept when we were planning for our ROM for Dec, countless no. of heated arguments, I was totally put off by the whole incident. We were both stubborn as a ox, wanted different things, shared different perspection of life, what can we achieve then? I believed - NONE. I had never experienced disappointment that many times but it may be due to such, I came to realise how important it is to compromise, give & take, understanding my partner. A relationship is never about I,myself and me, let alone marriage. After those disappointments I gotten, I've decided to drop the topic, never to bring it up or support it again!

"Shall we ROM in Feb'06?" stunned me for minutes not knowing how/what to react/reply. No doubt I'm glad that he popped out the question, but the big ? in me would be "Will it backfired again? Are you damn serious this time? Don't play around with this topic, it's not funny." I kept quiet.

I'm not sure this time, because he'll be sailing off to Iraq in Feb for a period of 4 months. Why would he want to ROM at this period of time? To make sure I'm tied down before he sails off? He's worried that things might go wrong during this period he's away? But I asked myself - "Why should I even doubt him?" Most importantly is FAITH, TRUST, COMMITMENT, RESPONSIBILTY. Are all these factors in us? I accepted, because I know I have all these in him and vice versa =)

Would it be double happiness? We confirmed our flat unit!! =) Wow, it's our 50+ units we viewed! I preferred the unit at Sembawang rather than this Yishun unit, but bf mentioned to me that he hopes he can get Yishun unit to be near to his parents, because he feels he has not done anything really nice to please his mum, that's the only thing he can do. Well, I must say it touched me. As long as it's our own home, I'm ok with such arrangements =) And my darling said we can do abit more renovation than what we originally discussed (a minimal renovation). Triple happiness!!

It's not easy to find someone that you feel you can be with, laid back with the rest of your life. I found him, and I'll cherish him. Now it's 6 days away from my solemnization, most of the preparation are done, only have to worry for the actual day. We wanted to lay low for this event but after discussion, we feel Customary dinner will only be for family & relatives in 2 year's time thus decided to hold it either by the pool or at Chevrons function room. Kinda regretted not having my solemnization in the hotel because the price we paid for is almost equivalent to hotels' rate! Well, it's for our close friends & buddies so we decided it's all worthwhile.

Currently busy for last preparation for the day. Collected my lilac ROM dress (got it from Empire), getting compatible top for my hubby-to-be, liaise with Shann about my custom-made ring pillow, getting a good photographer to capture those magical moments! and lots more.... Call me fussy/perfertionist, I like to do things on my own in case people fails my expectations =p

Can't wait to walk into the next chapter of life esp with my Jimmy Chia. These few months had been great, fulfilling, blissful! Thank You Mr Chia.

Never regretted my decision but will be missing you badly.

why do we felt the loss only when it's really gone?

Wow, realised how long I havent been updating my blog. It's really awhile. It has been a roller-coaster weeks/month to me, but it had enlighted me quite abit too. Perhaps that's what I really need. I have never expected to be that emotional towards my grandparents, or at least to death. Like my other cousins, they have been taken care by my grandpa before, thus I would think that I can still be able to withstand all emotions, but guess I'm wrong. Grandpa, I miss you.

I came back from Penang on 18 Dec, reaching bf's place only midnight. Was unpacking and packing up for work next day, when my mum called me. I knew my grandpa was hospitalized just before my trip, but I didn't have time to visit him then, and promised to visit him once I am back (if only I knew, I would be there). "Grandpa's blood pressure dropped tremendously.. better come fast". I will never forget that night - everything changed when I saw my grandpa in the hospital. From a once active, spontanous, cheeful grandpa, lies someone who's so fragile, haggard, it pains me so badly, that it did not take me seconds longer to tear. I whispered "Ah gong..." His BP had drop to a unbelievably 52 low (normal BP - 110), everyone was there at the hospital, worried. But he pulled through, my grandpa was a fighter (always will be), knew he will pulled it through. I was in and out hospital everyday, taking some urgent leave here and there, I just wanted to be there for grandpa, to be with him as long as I can. He had a couple of recurrances of low BP, but it was on 21st night he totally made us worried. I still remembered it was around 10pm we called out to him to feed him water but he was totally non-responsive, so we thought ah-gong's too tired so let him rest for awhile. Nothing is definitely wrong when we tried again in 1hr's time, nurse came in and took his BP and it went down again! This time his breathing interval was far too long....

We brought grandpa home the next day, for him to celebrate his 80th birthday. I'll never forget grandpa's expression of pain on his face, I felt the helplessness for him. 24th morning, everything turned bad, aunt poh woke us up and it was the last glance for us. We should had kept vigil throughout the night, ah gong why do you choose to leave us during our sleep?? But now Grandpa, you're freed from all and well to stand, do whatever things you want, I'm happy for you! Gonggong, need not worry about us or grandma, we'll take good care of her. I thought of you, did you hear our prayers last night? I hope ....

:: 24 Dec 2005, 1115am ::