Perhaps it's just not the right time

Never ever thought I will have to go through 'this'.

My colleagues were teasing me if I were expecting again as I have such good appetite recently BUT I simply laughed it off as I knew for the fact we were not even preparing for 2nd one yet. But when I started to feel & experienced the symptoms, a sense of uneasiness came into me. Our family plan is scheduled to resume back in action, at least 2 yrs' time (preferably) after our studies, but what if it'd been brought forward instead??

I have decided to do a D.I.Y test just to be sure... but still was 60% certain it's gonna be a negative result.

Well it showed (+) ... and I can tell you I felt nothing at that very instant moment. Simply expressionless, just kept thinking "How can it be?" ....

"Perhaps it's a gift from God", as not everybody is fortunate to be parents, so we should count ourselves lucky and blessed to have our 2nd child. After much discussion with Jim, we decided to go along with our blessing and delay my studies plan or I can be a tai-tai mommy of 2 too! =p haha

Headed down for the very 1st sonogram scan @ Dr. Hii, just to make sure everything is fine and safe in place and of course to be amazed by the nurses as they remembered my name after missing in action for almost a year.

Excitedly I lied down and positioned myself comfortably for a good view of my baby 2.

Ah haa, I see something! One black round shape!! But only to be snapped by Dr.Hii's remark:

"Hmm, this is not a good pregnancy.. it's empty.."

After which, he explained with some scan samples that I might be expecting an empty yolk sac which is also termed as 'Blighted Ovum':

"A common type of miscarriage. It happens when a fertilized egg implants in the uterus but the resulting embryo either stops developing very early or doesn't form at all. With an early pregnancy failure, you'll get a positive result on a pregnancy test, because the placenta begins to develop anyway and starts to secrete hCG, the hormone that these tests look for. Early on, you may also have some of the symptoms common in a normal pregnancy, such as fatigue, nausea, and sore breasts. Later, when the hormone levels begin to go down, these symptoms will subside and you're likely to have spotting or bleeding."

Despite advices from Dr.Hii to do D&C (Dilation and Curettage), I decided to give my 'yolk' a week's chance to see if there's any positive progress/change.

Sadly, I headed down (alone) to KK hospital the next day (09.06.2008) after my 2nd review scan at Dr. Hii's, mentally prepared to go through the day surgery. It was a confirmed empty sac, after a very much detailed scan by Dr. Thia that I agreed to proceed for the D&C surgery. Dr. Thia admitted me into a ward and scheduled my surgery to be 6hrs later, and all I can think of is I am going to be famished by then!! 6hrs!! *Gosh*

I was finally being called for the surgery with an hr delay at 6:30pm! Not quite sure how long the surgery lasted but I remembered I was back in my ward at 8pm, with McNuggets meal waiting for me! Haha, had informed Jim to get it for me as I know I will be damn hungry by then!

"Perhaps it's destined" are my thoughts when I started to regain consciousness from the effects of general anesthesia.

And life moves on.... with my darling prince Reyes making everyday worthwhile.