Marriage, it's so complex

" Marriage according to law is the union of one man and one woman, voluntarily entered into for life, to the exclusion of all others. Do I understand that you XX and you XX are here of your free will for the purpose of becoming man and wife?

Will you, XX take this woman XX to be your wedded wife, to live together in the legal estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and keep her in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, be faithful to her, as long as you both shall live?

Take this ring and put it upon the 3rd finger of his/her left hand and repeat after me: In token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love, with this ring I marry you.

As both of you have given your consent before me to live together in matrimony and have solemnly promised each to the other to do so, I now pronounce you two Husband and Wife. "

To some, you may have read the vows before in front of your husband/wife, JP, family, relatives and friends. I give you my blessings still. But why do some forget about this vows they made the day they had agreed and wanted to live together as one, to have both of them bonded as one? The day you knelt down and proposed, the day you decided, she's the one. The day you chanced upon a nice wedding band and felt it's time, the day you asked her, shall we apply for a flat? The day you bought her a diamond ring and she cried? Was it just That Day? What makes you so sure at that point of time that this is what you want, this is the woman you wish to spend your rest of life with, to look after, care for with your utmost ability? The woman you want to be responsible for? Responsibilities, commitment, faith, love. You may think you have all these the very moment you proposed, but when will these fades off? How long will these last? It shouldn't be shortlived. It's forever, for the entire lifetime.

I have seen and heard too many cases of failed marriage, I asked myself - Why? People change or either one side has given up providing the 4 conditions?? People always say Being together and being married is different. Then I plead for all men to think before they proposed. I am not trying to side women here, but it's so much of concidence those failed marriages of my friends are husbands' letting go of their once-promised vow. "Men can never understand women" I have heard this phrase umpteen times, I can only respond with "Humans are creatures of contradiction, not just women. Men are never easy to be understood either"

My closest friend once told me that she doesn't think she will be married, not that she doesn't want to, but she believes that it will not be a successful one. I used to think that she's just being panaroid due to her past, now I share her point of view. Scared to failed myself or to let people failed my trust of faith? Scared if it really resulted in divorce? Perhaps. My bf proposed to me just after 2 months into the relationship, I was taken aback but excited, there's was no doubts about it. We were different, we were ex-lovers, together for 8mths during poly days. It's kinda ironic huh, having someone popping out that question after 2 months back together, but I have waited for years during my previous relationship only to have myself realising it's not going to work out that I have decided to walk out. It's a mixed feelings if you understand.

I would rather one to leave the marriage early than to stay to keep trying to make it works after countless attempts. What's the point of suffering within yourself? Yes, it's never easy to accept Divorce, but ever thought of if you can just try to take that step out, you are actually advancing yourself to happiness? Early release from stress, sorrows & pain?

:: It's never easy ::